A New Calendar for the Anthropocene

We find ourselves moving into the anthropocene, and this new epoch demands a new calendar

There are many possibly starting dates for this epoch, but for the purposes of this calendar, we shall choose 1950-01-01; this is the start of the Present for the purposes of radiocarbon dating, it is also a nice round number.

For scientifical purposes, time shall be measured in days since 1950-01-01 UTC, and dates should be reported Star Trek style: Personal Log, AnthroDate 26,470.01.

For ritual purposes, we use octal, with time divided into 10₈ day weeks, 4₈ week months, and 20₈ month cycles, each zero based.  This time is localised, with the day beginning at dawn, and reported either C-M-D: Today is 63-13-6; or as the x^th day of the y^th month of the z^th cycle: On this, the seth day of the unty-therd month of the sety therd cycle of the Anthropocene.

Neither of these modes run in cycles that align with the solar year, because as the seasons are becoming more chaotic in the anthropocene.  This is an era made by humans, so it must be measured in human time, cycles of 1000 or 512 days.

Where the season remains important, a calendar based on a deck of cards is being beta-tested.  In this calendar, the suit of clubs starts on the vernal equinox, continues for 13 7-day weeks, and then the suit of spades on the estival solstice, the suit of hearts on the autumnal equinox, and finally the suit of diamonds on the hibernal solstice.  An embolism is inserted before a suit begins, as necessary.